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Family & Relationships

August 19, 2010

My boyfriend is jealous of a friend because I’m going running with him?

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(To shed a bit of background on the situation: My boyfriend LOVES to run. He ran in high school and even runs a bit now.

This guy “Adam” asked me if I would like to run with him because he knows I need a running buddy, since my boyfriend’s work schedule deems it nearly impossible for him to run with me, unless he wakes up early in the morning, which he doesn’t..

I asked my boyfriend if it would be okay to run with Adam, and he was very hesitant, but he said he guess it would be okay. He hates the fact that he can’t be my running buddy, bt he hates it even more that another guy wants to run with me, which is understandable because I know how I’d feel if it were another girl and I was in his place.

I’ve told him numerous times that I wouldn’t run with Adam, if it makes him uncomfortable, but he insists, saying he trusts me and that I shouldn’t have to change who I hang out with/what friends I have because of him.

But he’s still acting really weird.

He’s hardly talking to me, and when he does he brings up the subject of me running with Adam and makes lighthearted jokes about him and running together etc.

I’m just not very sure what to do.

I love my boyfriend and would never cheat on him, and I’ve told him this, and he knows this, but he’s still being weird.)

Answer :

The only reason he is saying its ok is because he does trust you, but don’t think for a minute that he is ok with it. It doesn’t have anything to do with him thinking you are going to cheat on him with this other guy, it has everything to do with the fact that he feels he is being less of a man because another man is fulfilling your needs. A man always and I mean always wants to be the one who is providing for you, and when you look to another guy (even though its out of practicality) for something its like you are telling him, you don’t get what you need from him.

Don’t look at it in terms of him being jealous of this other guy, but more in terms of the fact that he is feeling like less of a man because you need someone else. Its obvious that regardless of what he is saying it still makes him feel bad that you are running with this other guy, if you want to make him feel better and score some points, find a way to drop running with the other guy and tell him it just isn’t as much fun running with him as it is with your boyfriend. Find a girl to run with instead and you won’t have this problem.

Sometimes you have to read between the lines and see why he is upset, it speaks volumes though that he is still willing to let you run with this guy when its obviously bothering him. Its on you now to respect his feelings and respect that he didn’t just say no by dropping this other guy but don’t make it seem like your doing do because your boyfriend is acting up.

Family & Relationships

Is it still cheating?

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(my boy friend and i can rarely ever see each other and one time we just decided to break up because of distance but we had done it before and we knew that sooner or later we would go back out and, even though we broke up, we still kept on talking every day and saying i love you and i wish we were together to each other. anyways, i guess the night we broke up he got drunk and did a did a 3-way kissing with other girls which got me kinda mad because he didnt tell me, i had to learn from someone and then ask him about it. also, since it was summer i went to a summer camp and i got dared to kiss this girl. i really didnt want to do it but i had already used my 3 chicken outs so i had to. i havent told him because i totally forgot about it but now that i remember i realized i shouldnt really be mad at him? some of my friends say i should because he didnt tell me and some of them say i shouldnt. what should i do?)

Answer :

No. To the both of you, neither one cheated because two need to be together to have it called “cheating”. But you shouldt feel bad. First of all it was a chick, inless you go both ways, i dont think you really liked it..besides it was a stupid “dare”. YOur dude chose to hvae a 3way kissing fling. Yours was a dare. Ok. You should be a little upset at him but at the sametime, there is no commitment between you two, so he did’nt cheat on you. But he should of told you. If you guys really love each other, then youll stay together and not keep breaking up. Thats very childish. But if you cant stand to be away from him, then girl, what are you wiating for?!? Go have fun! not too much fun tho..just be a flirt. Live life! You sound like a teen..theres plenty of time to have a “real relationship” Just scope out your options. Theres millions of guys out in the world! Dont be locked down with some guy that keeps breaking up with you and kisses others girls right away. YOU can do BETTER =)